Answers to questions I’ve never been asked

If I cosplayed who would I be?
Romana channelling the 4th Doctor

Why don’t I wash my hair more often?
My dad always told me that going to bed with wet hair would make me sick, which is probably true but with bleached hair I hate blow drying my hair so instead I just don’t wash it except when it’s during the day and has time to dry

Why don’t I own any cats?
As we’re dog sitting too cutie pies in July it would be unfair on my future cat to put up with Bob & Cookie.

What is my favourite episode of Friends
I don’t know but I like Joey teaching a dance class, Ross pivoting a couch up the stairs, Monica needing a tiny vacuum to vacuum her vacuum cleaner, and any Joey & Chandler montage set to sad music.

How many pairs of converse do I own?
Seriously do you want me to count? I’m asking the questions and I should know I’m never going to count them so let’s say between 10 & 20.
Counting them would involve them not being spread all around the house.

What piece of furniture is next on the to buy list?
The practical Bek says more chairs, the less practical Bek says a hat stand.

How many pain killers have I had tonight?
Who are you my mother? Because she cares about me and loves me which is totally awesome.

How many fingers do I have?

10 – last time I counted.

What are my feelings about men tucking their shirts into jeans.

So not cool.

If I had to throw a fruit at a foreign species to save the human race, what sort of fruit would it be?

Not a satsuma. Possibly a nectarine. Or maybe an apple. Apples have good throwing properties.

Would I do the squelchy with a man in socks
Absolutely not. That’s just weird.

Do I hog the blankets
Hells yes. If you want to sleep next to me and be warm, bring your own damn blanket to bed.

What music gets stuck in my head when I’m waiting for shit to happen?
The jeopardy theme, or The Girl From Ipanema

Would I embroider a “Bruce’s Bar & Grill sign for me little brothers non existent bar area.
Hells yes.
UK comedies that make Australian references are few and far between. Plus Sir Gregglesworth appreciates this shit.

Why didn’t I squeal like the squeamish person you are when you saw that cockroach running along your bedroom floor?
It’s crawling along the floor and it helps the compost.
If I ever wake up to it in my hair (like I did with the mice when I lived in
Kalamunda) I promise I will squeal. That’s awful and really icky.

Why do I sleep under a doona even in 40+ (100+F) weather?

Because it feels awesome. Everyone else is weird. Sleeping under a blanket is normal I tell you NORMAL!!!

Why is my brothers hat styling so amazeballs?
He gets it from his sister. His sister is pretty awesomesauce.

Why can’t I come up with a strong last question?

Because I lack imagination and it’s late and I need to sleep.

Zzzzzzzzz

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